These little boys have my heart. Being a mama is tough! I'm writing this post way after these pictures were taken on a day when I had a big mommy mess up--I said shut up. I feel so so awful and ashamed that I said that to my sweet babies. I was so frazzled after a trip to town and running late to try and get dinner to the missionaries and my little people were pushing every button that they knew of {excuses}. I don't think they really understood what I said, those words never get said in our home. But I knew what I said so with tears I stopped the car and told them that I was sorry and that we needed to say a prayer. They asked why and I told them because mommy needed to say sorry to Heavenly Father and ask for help. We prayed for momma to have patience and little boys to be better listeners and that we could be kind to each other. It was short and sweet but exactly what needed to be done. I hope I turned a bad mommy mistake into a teaching moment for my boys. I want them to love the Lord and know that He is real and always there for us. I know these things are true with all my heart. I also know that I couldn't do this amazing and amazingly hard calling of motherhood without the love, guidance, comfort, forgiveness and understanding of my Savior. I am so thankful for the knowledge that I have of the gospel and the atonement. Where would we be without it? The fact that I can pray not only for forgiveness but for my Savior to take away my feelings of shame, hurt, sorrow and everything else can be eased and replaced with love and comfort, what a blessing! I know my Savior loves me. I wish I would have never said those words to my littles and I made a promise to myself to try my very hardest to {never} do it again but through that experience I felt my Savior's love for me and saw the tender mercy of sweet boys who easily forgive and offer a smile and kiss for their mama.
I am not going to give up. Tomorrow I am going to try harder and I am going to be a better mama than I was today. I love you my sweet little boys. Being your mom is my greatest joy!
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| that smile! |
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| Grandma and Grady at Mackie's camo birthday party |
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| this boy is so silly and hase about a million different faces! |
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| late night or was it early morning {probably both} snuggles with mama |
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| the thumb sucking is about the cutest thing I have ever seen! |
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